Very few men take their time to know their woman’s body. Even fewer are sensitive to her body’s reactions to him. Listen, the theatrics mean nothing, women are good actors. Have you ever paid attention to her skin, her breathing, her eyes when you touch her? Or you think you are a stud because she starts oohing and aaahing even before you do your rubbish?
Many a girl grew up reading romance novels. Craving the big-chested fellow with long hair, big hands and a deep voice. Dreaming of when he would carry her to a bed and lay her down then take her to ecstasy, places unknown, unexplored and maybe even forbidden.
The only problem is the boys and men are watching poorly filmed videos that only involve the innings and outings of body organs. So while we cannot really blame you entirely, we cannot just accept it. It is not a disability. You can learn new tricks. Woof.
Somewhere along the way, girls are told that they must make sure the man is happy and satisfied. He will do much for you if you make him happy in bed. That cannot be difficult, girl thinks. I mean, if he is like the fellow from the novel, it will be a win-win situation.
Girl meets boy. He takes her on a few dates and then D-day (no pun intended, please) comes. A girl prepares, even buying new underwear. Boy showers.
Then you hear dizzy donkeys shouting everywhere, ‘I am not responsible for your orgasm!” Then go duck a hole in the wall. Do not make someone’s mother, daughter, sister, shower and wear clean clothes for nothing.
When they finally get down to business, the girl cannot wait for all the ecstatic places she read about. Boy fumbles with her breasts at most, slides underwear. Grunts and sweats like a pig. Folds face until he looks like a clenched fist and it is over. A record 30 seconds. She did not even see the inside of her eyelids.
Boy then asks girl the most stupid question ever asked. “Did you enjoy it?” Girl remembers teachings. Stroke ego to survive.
That, ladies and gentlemen, is how we make men think they are something in the horizontal or vertical games (depending on your preference). Our need for survival in this jungle of life. You need a man, you want a man, you need shelter, you want children, your children need a father, you need a job, you want money. Really, the list is endless.
I just thought that men had more emotional intelligence. That you can read a room, well, in this case, a woman. Can you not see the sham? I mean, you call your attempt at suffocating a woman by sucking her face from her chin to her nose kissing and you think she is happy with your performance, turned on even. Do you not call yourself to a meeting and really go through some of the things you do to women in the name of lovemaking? Do you not respect yourself? After 20 plus years you are still bad at this thing? Are you unteachable, unable to improve? What is the problem?
Then you hear dizzy donkeys shouting everywhere, ‘I am not responsible for your orgasm!” Then go duck a hole in the wall. Do not make someone’s mother, daughter, sister, shower and wear clean clothes for nothing.
You want to be a great lover? Stop being selfish. No, it is not an endurance run. No one expects you to last 30 minutes. We are not trying to light a fire and I do think there are easier ways to kill a man. What I am trying to say is, be conscious, you are not a goat on heat. They call humans superior beings for a reason. Be deliberate, be giving, be attentive and be willing to learn from your partner.
Believe me, you will stop complaining that you have to beg for sex. You will now be saying she is insatiable. Women are, contrary to popular belief ,very sexual. Most just have terrible experiences with men and would rather find more pleasant hobbies.
Culled from The star, Kenya
